The Justice League's First Annual Vacation
by The.Shadow.Night
Summary: It took months of begging, but Batman finally agreed to a vacation. The problem was, they let him plan it. And he brought his kids. This is why you don't force Batman into anything. Ever.


**The Justice League's First Annual Vacation**

It had taken the Flash years of begging, and an unanimous agreement on the part of the other League founders to get Batman to agree. And so, they were going to have a vacation.

They had invited everyone in the Justice League, but only the Superman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Wally West, and a reluctant Bruce Wayne had found the time to go. Or so they thought.

Clark Kent, John Stewart, John Jones and Diana Prince casually walked up to Wayne Manor. They had all flown together from the Hall of Justice, and were excited about the prospective trip. Bruce had told them not to pack anything, so no one had any idea what was about to happen.

They knocked on the door of the Manor, which was promptly answered by Alfred.

"Welcome to Wayne Manor, Master Bruce has been expecting you. If you'll please follow me."

They filed in through the door after the butler. The entry opened up into a large room with a grand staircase, a brightly lit chandelier, and a beautifully decorated living room.

A strange streak of color was zipping around the room. A small orange streak hit the color and the color slowed and ran into a wall. It turned out to be Wally. The vibrations from his run in with the wall caused a vase to fall over and crash against the floor.

"Sorry, Alfred," he grinned sheepishly at the butler.

"What are you doing?" Diana demanded.

"Playing nerf tag. Only, I ran out of darts, and lost my gun. So now I'm just trying to find the other guys."

He zipped off again, leaving a confused group of superheroes behind.

"Other guys? Who else is here?" John asked.

"I do not know," J'onn replied.

A shudder came from the chandelier above and they all stepped back. A figure jumped off the chandelier, landing on the second floor at the top of the staircase. It slid down the banister, rolling off about halfway down backwards and doing a quick flip to land upright facing them.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" the young man said.

He had shaggy black hair with bright blue eyes that sparkled in amusement. He was of average height, and had a muscular build. Wally streaked back into the room, and he jumped into a backflip and managed to balance on top of a bookshelf. He pulled out two nerf guns and started shooting rapidly. Wally came to a stop in front of them, covered in the orange darts.

"Come on, Dick! That's just not fair!"

"All's fair in love and war," he laughed.

"Wally! That's not a nice thing to call your friend!" Diana said.

Clark was laughing beside her. "It's all right Diana, that's his name. Everyone, meet Richard "Dick" Greyson. He's Bruce's son."

"Wait, Batman has a kid?" John asked, doubt evident.

"The one and almost only," Dick said from on top of the bookshelf.

"Almost?" J'onn noticed the strange expression the young man had used.

"He means me!" a young boy popped out from behind the curtains.

He had dark brown hair, and looked as if he was about nine or ten. He was a slight contrast to Dick, because he seemed much more contained and serious.

"Wait, that's where you were hiding?" Wally asked.

"Who are you?" John asked.

"I'm Tim," he replied.

"And I'm Jason," a voice came from behind them.

They turned to see another kid, this one in his teens, slide out from behind a cabinet that had been placed about eight inches from the wall. He had black hair and was pale as a ghost.

"Great. I couldn't even find Jason!" Wally moaned.

"Does Bruce have any more kids?" Diana asked.

"No," a deep; voice came from a nearby doorway.

Bruce walked through, serious as always. "I'm afraid you'll have to go on without me. I didn't expect everyone to be stopping in today."

"Go where?" Tim asked.

"I should've known he'd rather be anywhere that isn't around me," Jason complained.

"We were going to go on a vacation. You should join us!" Wally said excitedly.

"No," Bruce said.

"We should have known that you would find a way to get out of this," Clark said.

"I'm not getting out of it. I'd just rather spend time with my family."

"That's too bad, because if we don't all go, I'm going back to Bludhaven," Dick said, finally off the top of the bookshelf.

"And I'm going to go kill a mugger," Jason said.

"And I'll tell Selina what you said about Diana!" Tim added.

The Leaguers looked at Bruce, curious as to what his reaction would be. He had an incredible poker face.

"Fine," he finally said. "But you're cleaning the Batcave when we get back."

"Wait, so Bruce's kids can order him around?" John asked, amused.

"Hey, I'm not technically his kid!" Tim said.

"And I'm not technically alive, so I don't think that I count either," Jason added.

"The Batfamily's kinda weird,' Wally said, facing his very confused and overwhelmed friends. "But we can discuss that on the brilliant beaches of Fiji."

"That's not where we're going," Bruce said.

"Fine. The wonderful ski slopes of the Himalayas?"

"Nope."

"A quaint café in France?"

"Not even close."

"Don't tell me we're going to the Batcabin," Dick brought up.

Bruce started to grin slightly.

"Wait, if we're going there, I'm just gonna leave now," Jason tried to slip out.

"What's the Batcabin?" Wally asked nervously.

"Yeah guys, how come I don't know about the Batcabin?" Tim asked.

Dick and Jason exchanged glances.

"Lucky kid," Jason said.

"Yeah, Bruce hasn't taken him to the cabin yet," Dick added.

"What's the Batcabin?" the Leaguers chorused, curious.

"It's a decent sized cabin I have in the Rockies. We'll leave for there within the hour. And no one can wimp out now. You wanted a vacation, and you're going to get one," Bruce said, and evil glint in his eye.

He herded them all to a small airfield where his private jet sat. He ushered them all on, and Alfred flew the plane into the sky.

"So, what's the plan once we reach this cabin?" John asked.

"We land in a field on the edge of the mountain. Then we will hike, no powers, to the cabin about halfway up the mountain. After we're there I'll fill you in," Bruce said, then went up to join the captain.

Dick and Jason were gorging themselves on inflight snacks, stuffing what they couldn't eat in pockets and bags. Everyone else stared at them, wondering what was going on.

"Whatcha doin'?" Wally asked.

"Getting the good food while it's still around," Dick replied.

The flight didn't take long, and soon they were at the base of a mountain with large backpacks.

"Everything you'll need for the week is in those backpacks. You will each work in pairs to reach the cabin. The first team to reach the cabin will earn a 'prize'. Now, no superpowers are to be used. If you're caught using superpowers, you will automatically loose. Now, pair up."

They wandered into groups, with Dick and Wally pairing up, Jason and Tim, Clark and J'onn, and Diana and John. Bruce pulled out a four wheeler and drove up the mountain, leaving the rest in his dust.

"Wait, what just happened?" Clark asked.

"It's called survival of the fittest. And I suggest you try to win," Dick said, pulling Wally up the mountain.

Jason and Tim were soon to follow, with the Leaguers following after them. They hiked up the mountain as quickly as they could, but soon night fell.

Somehow, Bruce had known who was going to pair with whom and had packed two sleeping bags with one person and a tent with the other. They stopped to make camp and examined what else was in the bags.

"Rope, first aid kit, granola, water bottles, exercise clothes, and… rocks?" Wally took inventory of what was in the bag after he took out the tent.

"Yep. Leave the rocks there. If you show up without them, bad things will happen," Dick told his partner.

He made a fire, then shared some of the 'good food' he had stashed on the plane. Overall, they were doing well.

Jason and Tim were doing pretty good too, considering Tim was ten and Jason was fifteen. They were keeping up pretty well with everyone, due to the Bat-training.

Superman and J'onn were going though their backpacks as well, and found it to contain several large rocks, which was crushing everything else.

"Why are we carrying rocks?" J'onn asked.

"I don't know. Maybe Bruce is redecorating and is using us a slave labor."

They laughed it off, but left the rocks in the bag. It seemed to be the safest thing to do.

Diana and John had other ideas. They both thought it pointless to carry rocks up the side of a mountain, and left the rocks sitting beside the campfire.

The next morning, they all set out again. And that's when all the problems started.

Clark and J'onn were walking calmly along when an explosion rocked the face of the mountain. The two lept back in surprise as a normal rock turned out to be a bomb.

"What is going on here?" J'onn asked.

"It seems Bruce put traps around his cabin," Clark replied.

Dick knew what to expect, so he and Wally were in the trees. They leapt from branch to branch in the thick forest. The ground was full of traps, but Bruce wouldn't dare to harm the environment by messing with the trees.

Diana and John weren't so lucky. So far, they had gotten caught in a hidden net, attacked by robotic bugs, and almost stepped into bombs. They weren't very happy.

Jason led Tim to a small tunnel he had found the last time he was there. He didn't think Bruce knew about it, but it led under the forest, reemerging just before they reached the cabin. It was dark, but it was safe.

Bruce sat in the cabin, monitoring their progress on the computer. Diana and John were already disqualified, even if they didn't know it. The rocks were an important part of this. He opened the cage of rats in the tunnel, it was a good plan by Jason, but he didn't want to make things too easy. Superman and J'onn were still taking the obvious approach and hiking on the trail where he had planted several 'surprises.'

He allowed himself to grin. This really was shaping up to be a decent vacation. Only, where was Dick?

He scanned through the video cameras, looking for the elusive ninja. He couldn't find him, but he did find a ginger in a tree. That was one approach he'd never thought of. It was a good plan. They wouldn't have to touch the booby trapped ground. He would have to fix that later.

A few hours passed, and Diana and John stood triumphantly next to the cabin. Dick and Wally ran out of the woods next, followed by Jason and Tim. It took another half hour for Clark and J'onn to show up.

"Great, we got here. Now what?" John asked.

Bruce walked out of the cabin. "Now the fun begins. Dick and Wally, seeing as you won, you get to eat."

He pulled a cloth off a covered picnic table to reveal mountains of food, which Dick and Wally started to attack.

"We made it up here first, that means we won!" Diana said, screaming against the injustice.

"You were disqualified. You were supposed to bring everything in that bag with you, and you left the rocks behind. These are the first of many consequences for that."

John and Diana gaped at him. This just wasn't fair! But Bruce stood by his decision, and no one wanted to mess with Batman. They all went into the cabin at his request, and were shocked.

It was a single room, with a fireplace. There was no furniture, nothing at all. There wasn't even any firewood.

"This is a joke, right?" Clark said.

"Nope," Jason replied glumly. "Now starts the real work. He sets up challenges that you have to beat for anything you want."

"And you have to carry your backpack everywhere. If you screw up a challenge and can't complete it, he adds more rocks to your bag," Dick added.

"This isn't a vacation, this is training!" Wally moaned.

"I should've known Bruce wouldn't take a vacation."

"Actually, I am," Bruce stood in the doorway behind them. "I'm currently staying in a five star hotel, complete with swimming pool, spa, and gym. It's a wonderful break for me. You, on the other hand, are lazy wimps. You don't deserve a vacation. I will be back in the morning to issue your first challenge."

He left, and he left a bunch of angry superheroes behind.

"We're not staying here," Diana said.

"I have to agree. What Bruce is doing is completely crazy. We work hard, and this is supposed to be a fun vacation," Clark added.

"That's it. I'm going somewhere else," John said.

Everyone agreed, and they flew away. Bruce watched them go, happy even though his plans had been foiled. They would never make him come on a vacation again.

* * *

**Something that's been stewing for a bit, I hope you like it!**

**-Shadow**


End file.
